The Inner World-Exploration

As my mind wanders today on all kinds of things I wanted to get curious like I do in sessions with coaching clients. I started by wanting to buy something my mind said I needed on Amazon, then I need to go to Trader Joes then what are people doing on IG and LinkedIn. Lots of mind wandering then the crave came in how about some Ice cream it's been hot so why not? That started me on the path to go deeper. Ice cream- my code for what am I trying to soothe? What is not going my way? What do I really want? I then reached for a book I have been reading and then put it down. I am avoiding having a deep conversation with myself and listening. How is it possible to listen to clients deeply and help them see what's underneath the story, the urge, the crave and or distraction they lean into and not practice with myself?

I decided to see what happens when I pay attention to myself to really listen to what is going on in my inner world. I first decided this might be easier if I got a picture of me as a child. Just like we take time with our kids I thought let's explore by looking into my eyes, what was going on in the snapshot in time for me what was my world like? I felt my heart soften, my attention was gentle, seeing the puzzle, the book and my favorite toy was a horse over to the side. I noticed I had either been drooling or crying because my turtleneck was wet in front. As I look at this sweet child I began asking what do I need to know right now? I closed my eyes and waited to see what was going to come through. It took awhile to become comfortable with listening then I felt like things were loosening and then unlocked. I was upset because I couldn't find the right flights to travel, I felt anticipation for a business meeting that was happening later today and saw how I gobbled my breakfast down without really chewing and enjoying each bite. I saw in this experience I was listening to everyone and everything but myself. I was not present in my mind or body for me when I needed me and wanted my attention. When I was young the way I soothed myself was sucking my thumb. That was my own little body telling me how to regulate my emotions because I didn't have the ability to speak what I needed.

Wow all of this vital information poured out of me that helped me understand myself in a deeper more connective way. How could I have missed this experience and opportunity? What was I afraid of learning or hearing ? The truth of the experience was there was no negative self talk, judgment, comparison, put downs or anything. Maybe because I was genuinely open with my heart, to learn, listen and pay attention in a new way. Also when I am settled, calm, relaxed and quiet my sense is I feel safe with my mind like it allows and touches the core of my soul which never wants to hurt, harm or create pain- it just wants to be heard, seen and validated- not dismissed.

I felt so peaceful after this exploration of my inner world. If this is something you would love to explore with a coaching or energy balancing session please reach out and book!

Take good care of YOU!

Karen