Who’s in the room?
Updated: Jul 23, 2021
Today I am sharing a question that I start with when working with busy clients. Who's in the room? It reminds me of when someone sends a text or says “Hi, how are you?”. Perhaps if we are living and moving from a more conscious connection with self, we say the truth or maybe you aren’t thinking and respond, “I’m fine how are you?” and or you really ARE fine in that moment. All responses are opportunities to check in with ourselves and experience what is true for us. I personally have walked back a quick response with “No, actually, I am feeling grumpy and tired right now". And from that space it allows us to go a step further.
Let us check in
In my virtual space of coaching sometimes just asking how we are doing today is not enough to bring awareness and presence to our session. Recently, I have started asking ‘Who’s in the room with us today?’ The quick answer can be no one, my pet, my child, or my plants. We might have a chuckle and then I re-ask, “Who is really in the room with us right now?”. There is usually a longer pause as if it is a trick question or a search for the right answer. This can be a powerful question in any step of coaching to examine who we might have brought into our session in our mind. We might have the person who cut us off in traffic lurking around, perhaps the lingering thoughts about a meeting with colleagues, a heavy conversation hours ago with a friend, or even the next appointment on the calendar and so on. All that can be in one session without ever noticing, inquiring, or inviting. Sometimes we must take another step and acknowledge their presence and ask each one to leave the room. “Hi, Karen please leave the room this is my time.” can be a transformational exercise and when people get into the habit of this it clears the space for anything you want focus and give your energy to fully. I have practiced this in my sleep when I awake with a thought- I send it out of my sleep space- GO! Usually, I can get right back to a peaceful sleep- it is an ongoing practice.
Consider how this might change the way you approach your work, life, and future conversations. What is possible? Can you imagine the unexpected opportunities this opens up?
Although, it can be a surprise to know that something someone said weeks, a month or minutes ago can still be there keeping us from the desire and the outcome, the opportunity is to bring awareness of how we show up and are being at times- without judgment. Feel free to try this on and see what new awareness and experience happens.